As I typed in the title of this book in the "title" window for this blog post, it suddenly dawned on me that I have no idea in the world what that title has to do with the story I just read. Somehow, I'm guessing the publisher came up with it, since it was going to be a trilogy (I assume this was part of the book deal) and wanted something they could repeat. The other two books are "Unchained" and "Unmasked". Anyway, "untamed" implies a descent into barbarism or something, I guess, and that's hardly what happens in the story. "Unclothed" or "uncovered" might make more sense, but that's just my observation.
Moving right along...
When my
Mr. Nitpicky met the lovely author of this spicy tale at the recent
Romance Writers of America conference in San Francisco, the first thing she did was apologize for the cover(s). Writers usually don't get to pick their covers, and romance novels have some doozies. It is totally not her fault that the publishers decided to put a hairless (he's supposed to be Scots?!), shirtless haircut-needing chap in a rug on the cover. Unfortunately, that's part of the Highlander mystique, and I'm sure it's what RN readers expect, so there it lies.
The author did her homework on this one. The principal characters are all plucked from history. The major incidents actually happened. The details are lost to time, and so have been creatively filled-in. Makes perfect sense, but there are ways and ways of doing this. The story wasn't awful. I never had the urge to throw the book across the room, but I probably wouldn't have finished it had it not been a) a gift from Mr. Nitpick and b) purchased directly from the hand of the author. It's just one of those "I prefer apples and this is an orange" type things. If it's a historical setting, I want to feel transported to that time period. This is why I didn't finish
Loving Scoundrel (which was much, much worse). This story had so many things right about it, that I could almost forgive the things that were wrong.
First of all, I really like the heroine, to the point that she's the kind of person I could stand to be around in real life (folks who know me will appreciate the level of praise in that comment). She comes across as a real person, very nicely developed, with a plausible back story and mostly realistic reactions to various situations. The hero didn't quite come alive for me, and seemed more of an over-sexed, over-muscled, bi-polar sort of fellow. Sometimes he's a grunting barbarian, sometimes he's a tortured academic. Mostly he plants his feet and glowers and forbids the heroine to do things.
The political details of the plot ring true, but so many details of daily life were just "off" enough to jar me out of the story. The "filmy" and "clinging" gowns of the heroine were utter Renaissance Faire fantasy. The descriptions of them had me all agog. This is 1601: anybody leaving their bed-chamber in a slinky, curve-revealing gown is on her way to the guardarobe (WC). Again: t's supposed to be 1601. Our Hero is an important guy in the political scene, not a country bumpkin. Despite this, the men all wear kilts, never mind the fact that any Scotsman who wanted to be taken seriously would have been wearing doublet & hose for at least formal occasions.
At one point our girl teases our hero with the threat of decorating their rooms in "floral fabrics and lace". Ouch. Suddenly it's the 19thc century. Are we talking chintz? Also, maybe the author doesn't know how precious lace was at the time. We're talking "weight in gold" value, here. Fabrics were expensive to begin with, and lace was even more so. Is this guy the King of Spain?! Oh, and don't get me started on the sheer number of books in this castle in the North. Yes, the printing press had been invented, but books are still very, very valuable. It's a minor point, and I'm sure it could be debated.
Then there's hair. This is a hobby horse in books and films for me. In visual media, the hair of the principal characters is usually the worst. In printed media, the principals are usually the only ones worthy of description, and they set the tone for your mind's eye. Of course our Hero has "flowing locks". Of course that bugs me. I know, he's a "barbaric Highlander", but he's also nobility, not a sheep herder. Men wore their hair short in the 16th c. This stereotype fits expectations for RN readers, but it's still cliche. The Heroine and the other principal woman in the story always seem to have loose or barely contained hair, which is even worse. Hair was dressed with pins and nets, and covered with caps and hats. This girl spends so much time "tucking a lock of hair behind her ear" (even when out of doors), that she comes across as undressed and/unkempt to me, which I'm pretty sure is not the writer's intention. It would be so refreshing to have a hero gasp in awe of his new bride's mane of (insert color here) tresses on their wedding night! So far, I've yet to read that scene in any Romance Novel.
I'm not going to whinge any more. As I said, it wasn't awful, and I liked the heroine. There was way too much steamy sex going on, albeit married sex (technically), but I guess that's part and parcel of this sub-genre. There was a huge "reality check" moment when the heroine arrives after a non-stop four day horseback journey and ends up in the sack with our Hero after a few minutes. How about a hot bath to remove the trail crud, a bowl of broth and some crusty bread, into bed to rest aching muscles, and then...oops! Hormone attack! Oh, well, that's me wishing an apple to be an orange. Where do you draw the line between stylistic choice and verisimilitude? Not sure I have the answer to that.
More than merely a fictional writer of fictional fiction, McSterlingthong is the last word in fantasy. Just ask him! Or don't! While not strictly following the usual guidelines for this blog, I think "his" colorful creations deserve as much attention as possible because they make me laugh. This guy could give Longmire a run for his money.
Today's Engrish reads like the tagline from a really bad weeper. Or is it a suspense film? I don't know. I'm trying to escape the happiness but it's gaining!
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